His Presence.
You start to long for heaven when earth becomes so dissatisfactory.
You become desperate for Jesus because His presence is Heaven. You discover your need for him more when everyone on earth becomes grossly inadequate at meeting those needs you try to act like you don't have.
Not just the need for money, connection, or even popularity.
But those needs for true understanding... the kind not even your husband can give because after scoring your name onto his last name and procreating progeny through you, the flowers no longer come as much. The "I love yous" get said robotically and just because it's been rehearsed in anticipation of getting you to accomplish yet another task on his behalf. The bathroom doesn't get cleaned if you don't do it and your company is mainly necessitated only when his sexual desires begin thirsting. He's not evil...he's just human. His love is not agape. It may be Phileo and Eros at best, but agape and altruistic, nah...not always.
You're seeking fulfillment.
The kind your woman can't give you because try as she might, she ends up critiquing your fallibilities. Her attempts at being a helpmeet often make her overbearing, and the chasm of her own emotional needs often drown the strength and security you try to provide and make you feel inadequate despite your sincere attempts at being the answer to all the problems your family faces. She loves you, yes. But she's a lot of ups and downs in a body. A hot body for a bit, 😂 which then maybe isn't even so hot anymore and talks a lot more than you want. She also, is inadequate.
You need Jesus.
You need Him more than ever.
Only He can fill that insatiable hunger you feel.
Only the infinite God of all eternity who created all things including time and you can save you from your thirsting.
Marriage won't do it.
Children can't do it. (It's not even their job to.)
Sex is nothing. You find out it's fleeting.
A chiseled and fit body won't do it. Fat finds a way to come back over the years, 😂
Alcohol and drugs are incapable.
Money and power are temporary and fickle.
Until your whole life revolves around Jesus, everything good in your life will ultimately show up to be the skeletons they are...mere grains of wheat to an emaciated spirit seeking nourishment. Where Jesus alone is the bread of life.
You need God, bro.
You need Jesus, sis.
I didn't say you need church.
Be a part of a ministry and don't forsake the gathering of believers. But don't expect them to cure your spiritual ailments cos if you depend on them and not the Jesus of the Bible they are supposed to be worshipping, they'll only add to your schedule, obtain a portion of your earnings for some good purpose, and engage you in relationships which encourage you only on Sundays when you are face to face but not in the secret place. That quiet place where your loneliness really creeps in.
You need Jesus.
Success won't do it.
Awards won't do it.
Divorce won't do it.
No matter what you obtain or get rid of, if you don't find and surrender to that personal, vulnerable and ultimate relationship with the King of glory, you will never find everlasting joy.
Let that sink in.